RetroSimba

When Taylor Coleman was 8 years old, her father abandoned her, she said, cutting off all communication and shirking his parental responsibilities.

Her father, Vince Coleman, was known to baseball fans as the stolen base specialist for the Cardinals, a player who created thrills with his speed and daring. Taylor saw a different side: a father in name only, unwilling to even acknowledge her, let alone help raise her.

Bolstered by the commitment and strength of her single mother, Taylor persevered, earning a college degree and becoming a successful businesswoman in cybersecurity sales and a mentor to people entering the technology field.

She has written a book about her father and his rejection of her. It’s called “A Letter To My Dead Beat Dad: The Facade Is Over.”

It’s a powerful read that stirs the emotions. The book is available on Amazon in hardcover and Kindle: Click here

Vince Coleman’s playing career spiraled after he left the Cardinals and reached bottom in 1993 when he was charged with a felony for throwing an explosive device similar to a grenade into a parking lot and injuring three people, including two children. The Cardinals later made him a member of their hall of fame.

During Thanksgiving weekend 2022, I did an e-mail interview with Taylor Coleman about her book. Here are the excerpts:

Q:  The book is written in a very open and heartfelt manner. How did you manage to write such a personal story without holding back?

Taylor Coleman: “I felt a strong need to tell my truth and tell my story. I spent my whole life keeping my abandonment and trauma a secret. Something in me knew I had every right to share my feelings in a raw and genuine manner.

“I wanted this book to be as if someone was opening up a diary. I want the readers to know my anger and sadness, as well as feel the love that I still have for my father. It definitely took a lot of courage to be so honest. There were many times where I thought, ‘Should I really do this?’ But I deserve to be heard. I am becoming the type of woman who isn’t afraid to hold back.”

Q: Was it an emotionally exhausting, or an uplifting experience, to write this book?

Taylor Coleman: “It was a bit of both. I have always loved writing, so there was a genuinely therapeutic aspect of telling my truth. However, there are definitely parts of the book that caused me to cry or become upset while writing it, because I was having to relive those moments and remind myself of the hurt I felt. However, I can say overall it was more positive and uplifting.”

Q: Have you gotten feedback from any readers who also were abandoned by a parent?

Taylor Coleman: “Yes, I have, and it has all been very positive. I have had people tell me the book has helped them not be afraid to speak about their trauma and to learn how to heal. Others stated the book inspired them to tell their own stories and not hold back.

“I think the book also has been comforting to those who just want to know they are not alone. My dream and mission is not only to hold my father accountable, and possibly inspire him to change his ways, but most importantly, my mission is to be the voice and advocate for all humans who have seen a parent walk out of their life. Deadbeat moms and dads deserve to be held accountable for their cruel actions, and we (the offspring) deserve to be heard and recognized.”

Q: The book is as much about the strength, courage and commitment of your Mom. Has she read the book and, if so, what was her reaction?

Taylor Coleman: “She has read it several times, yes, and she loves every bit of it, and is extremely proud of me for doing such a thing. The book would not have been possible without my mother. I was so young when all of this happened, and there was a lot I had either forgotten about, or certain facts that she did not share with me because she never wanted to hurt me. So, I had to ask a lot of questions and confide in her to tell me all the details of what happened between her and my father, as well as the things he was doing, such as decreasing child support to $175 a month.”

Q: Besides your Mom, who are your role models, or mentors, and how have they inspired you?

Taylor Coleman: “My biggest role models outside of my mother are definitely my grandma, on my mother’s side, as well as two teachers I had growing up, Mrs. Pittman and Coach Fahrner. Those two individuals are heaven-sent, and they have always treated me so kindly. They are the types of teachers who make students excited to come to school, and they are always so generous and compassionate to each of their students. They are just genuinely good humans, and that is so hard to come by. They have inspired me to treat humans with kindness.

“My grandma is such a strong and resilient woman, who grew up very poor. However, she made such a beautiful life for herself, and she inspires me to continue being the independent woman I am, and lets me know that I can achieve and do or be anything I want to be in this life.”

Q: What is the most important advice you have for those who have been abandoned by a parent?

Taylor Coleman: “My biggest piece of advice is to learn, and always remember, to love yourself. Oftentimes, when a parent disowns their child, that child feels as if they are worthless or unworthy of love, and that can come to fruition later in life and cause one to chase toxic love or tolerate abuse from others, simply because they want to be loved. I want abandoned children, teenagers and adults to know they are still loved and still valued, and to not allow anyone to treat them poorly.

“Someone’s incapacity to love you, or see your worth, has absolutely nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them. Also, I want the general public to know that seeking therapy is not a bad thing. Everyone on this earth has trauma, and everyone on this earth needs therapy.”

Q: One aspect of the book is about the pitfalls of hero worship by sports fans. What message do you have for them about idolizing sports figures?

Taylor Coleman: “I want every sports fan to know that, at the end of the day, when that athlete steps off that field and takes off that jersey, they are just a normal human being like the rest of us. Being an athlete does not make you special, and does not justify being a terrible human being.

“I cannot stand it when I see comments from people saying things like, ‘Their personal lives don’t matter; he was a good player.’ Their personal lives do matter.”

Q: What would you say to a Vince Coleman fan who wonders whether she or he should read your book?

Taylor Coleman: “I would ask them to take a moment, look inside their heart, and picture themselves in my shoes. Picture an 8-year-old being told she will never hear from her father ever again. I would ask his fans to be empathetic and to understand that I am just a forgotten child that wants to finally be heard, and wants to make a positive impact in this world. His fans deserve to know who they are truly rooting for. They have all been terribly fooled.”